Spotlight On Sobriety 12/07/2025
- GaL-AA Newsletter Committee
- Dec 1
- 5 min read
Updated: Dec 7
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Principles Behind The Steps #5
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Roundup Calendar Update
December AA Member Anniversaries
Spotlight On Sobriety 12/07/2025
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Principles Behind The Steps - Step 5
The Freedom of Telling the Truth
“Oh, hell no!” was my first reaction when I realized what Step 5 was asking of me. It was one thing to sit alone and take stock of my life—to dissect all my moral liabilities, fears, financial wreckage, and sexual misconduct. That was already painful enough. But to share all that mess with another person? That seemed excessive, even cruel. Much of my past was so humiliating and disturbing that I had fully intended to take it to my grave. But then I remembered something from the AA Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions book that says, “Most of us would declare that without a fearless admission of our defects to another human being, we could not stay sober.” I didn’t want to believe that, but deep down, I knew it was true. Keeping secrets had nearly killed me. My drinking had been one long exercise in hiding—from others, from myself, and even from anything that resembled truth. Luckily, I was working with loving, patient sponsor. He had already guided me through the raw and sometimes painful honesty of Step 4, where I put everything down on paper. When it came time for Step 5, he didn’t push me or pressure me. He simply said, “We’ll take it one piece at a time.” I didn’t know it then, but that moment of willingness to even try was the real start of my healing.
The AA principle most associated with Step 5 is integrity; I came to understand what that truly means. Integrity isn’t about being perfect; it’s about being honest, accountable, and real. This Step also requires many other AA principles: hope, faith, courage, discipline, patience, and awareness. Step 5 demanded that I own up to my destructive behaviors without excuses. It asked me to step out of denial and into the light. And it was only by doing so that I could truly begin to change.
Step 5 says: “Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.” That phrase “another human being” haunted me. It was one thing to talk to God—He already knew. But another person? That was the part that made me want to run. I thought,: “What if he judges me? What if he thinks I’m beyond redemption?” But my sponsor had been where I was. He didn’t flinch. When the day came, I sat down with my notebook, my Step 4 inventory, my palms sweating. My sponsor poured us both a cup of coffee, and we awkwardly prayed together for honesty and courage. Then I began to read. I started with the easy stuff–the resentments and the petty grudges, but before long, I was deep into the real wreckage: the betrayals, the selfishness, the manipulation, the fear, the shame.
It felt like peeling off old, infected bandages to expose the wounds underneath. Each confession burned, but it also released something. To my surprise, my sponsor didn’t look shocked. He nodded, sometimes smiled gently, and every so often shared a similar story of his own. His openness made me realize I wasn’t the only one who had lived in darkness.
By the end, I felt like I had laid down a burden I’d been carrying for decades. The memories that had haunted me for so long, the ones I thought I’d die keeping secret, lost their power once I said them out loud. The shame that had wrapped itself around me like a straitjacket
began to loosen. I experienced a kind of intimacy and trust I hadn’t known was possible, especially after years of isolation in my drinking.
Admitting personal shortcomings isn’t unique to AA—it’s an ancient spiritual practice. Many religions and philosophies recognize the cleansing power of confession. There’s something universal about speaking the truth aloud, about facing yourself in the presence of another person, and realizing you’re still worthy of love and forgiveness. In retrospect, I see that Step 5 was one of the most pivotal moments in my recovery. For the first time, I took an honest, personal inventory and recognized not only what and who I had been, but also who I might yet become.
I had to come clean, admitting to the Seven Deadly Sins and then some, before I could begin a meaningful journey forward. This was the Principles of the program put into action.
Now, when I work with newcomers who are approaching Step 5, I share my own experience openly. I tell them that the fear is normal, but the freedom on the other side is beyond anything they can imagine. The same stories that once filled me with shame are now tools of connection. They allow me to say, “I’ve been there,” and mean it. Step 5 taught me that we don’t heal in isolation. We heal in honesty, humility, and connection. What once seemed like an unbearable demand turned out to be the doorway to freedom. By admitting the exact nature of my wrongs—to God, to myself, and to another human being—I discovered something extraordinary: truth, no matter how painful, can set you free.
Written By,
Vincent B.
Palm Springs, CA.
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GaL-AA Roundup Calendar & Listing Updated
*Our Roundup Listing Has Been Updated!*
We’ve added new Roundups to our Roundup Listing page, added some 2026 dates, all complete with links to each event. https://www.gal-aa.org/roundups
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GaL-AA Celebrating our Members AA Anniversaries
Spotlight On Sobriety 12/07/2025
The Spotlight On Sobriety 12/07/2025 features personal stories, articles and reflections submitted by members and friends of the fellowship. The views expressed are those of the individual authors and do not necessarily represent those of Alcoholics Anonymous or GaL-AA.
Statement of Inclusion
GaL-AA exists to serve lesbians, gays, bisexuals, transgender people, queers and others in Alcoholics Anonymous regardless of how they self-identify. GaL-AA embraces all members of the AA Fellowship.
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