Spotlight On Sobriety 09/28/2025
- Steve N.
- Sep 22, 2025
- 10 min read
In this week's publication:
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Spotlight On Sobriety 09/28/2025
A New Start, Gerry M.
I stepped off a plane in Orlando and my good friend picked me up from the airport. "Come on. Let's go get your test results.” Both of us kind of knew there was a good possibility that I was HIV positive. This was the middle of August 1993. It would take me another four years to get sober. That required a cross-country move to Los Angeles, what most people call a "geographic".
When the subject of HIV and sobriety was first presented to me, I thought, "I don't know how to address these together". Yet, they are the two halves of my existence. I'd dare to say if I hadn't gotten sober when I did or stayed in Florida, I don't think I'd still be here. To date, I have been living with HIV/AIDS for over 30 years. Once diagnosed, it changed everything. Deep inside, I knew I had to leave Florida because I had basically burned most of my bridges to work. So, I moved to LA and landed in Santa Monica, subleasing my friend's room while she came back to Florida. I'm forever grateful to her for opening up that window to escape and move forward. I'm also grateful to my friend and his partner who took me into their house, fixed dinner, and gave me such an amazing amount of information about HIV. They told me there were new drugs to treat HIV in the pipeline, how a positive attitude could affect my well-being, and how the healthcare was probably going to be better in a large city in California. It has been. I ended up going to a great clinic in Los Angeles, where I had a young, female doctor who was my primary.
I had a "lost weekend" and went in for bloodwork a day later. In my routine visit with her, she kindly and patiently told me that my T-cells had dipped under 500. I was not yet on any medication, but she told me there was nothing she could do until I asked her for help. Just like I was to learn in 12-step recovery, it was a "surrender Dorothy or else" moment. "I can't help you unless you ask me to help you," she said. I looked down at the floor in the exam room and started to cry. I didn't want to start the medications. I had heard the horror stories of drug resistance and side effects from the AZT meds and had been looking into alternative treatments for HIV. But in that moment, facing the consequences of a binge-drinking/using weekend, I saw in black and white the effects on my health and knew I needed to start the HIV meds. This was in 1995. It took me another two years to get sober.
I got sober on September 29th, 1997. I surrendered after trying to do it all by myself. I had 90 days, and on the 91st day, I went out and was presented with some meth and found myself powerless to stop myself from using. So began my journey in 12 steps. As of this writing, I am coming up on 28 years of sobriety. That's a chunk of one-day-at-a-time, and a lot of trudging, serious trudging. I remember back when I was new and attending a variety of meetings all around the greater Los Angeles area. I would see "old timers" who were a little bit crazy in my opinion, and I would think to myself, "God, please don't let me be that batshit crazy if I make it to 20+ years." Well, I do get a little squirrely starting in early September, which is only a couple of weeks before my AA anniversary/AA birthday.
In Los Angeles, I have been blessed to have access to an HIV-positive AA meeting. It meets on Sunday nights at a local park and recreation center near West Hollywood and is well-attended. This was in the late 90s, and while it made me sad to see so many of us dealing with HIV, we were alive and not living on borrowed time. There was hope that we would live to possibly see retirement. Well, I find myself getting closer and closer to retirement and realizing that I started preparing for it late. And given the state of the union here in America and Los Angeles, I've had to use up all my savings, investments, and my Traditional IRA. There wasn't a lot, but it had been something. So now I am trusting in my higher power to help me get through all this financial uncertainty and fear. My sponsor reminds me when he shares that FEAR can stand for "Face Everything and Recover". Or you could "F*** Everything And Run!". I find myself some days choosing the latter but knowing the real choice is to put on my big boy pants and walk through the fear anyway!
Through chemo treatments for Kaposi Sarcoma, through the COVID pandemic days and the rise of many sober Zoom meetings, and through a SAG-AFTRA* strike. As a 30+ year member of the union, I was walking that picket line at least twice a week, and part of it was during more chemo treatments. Then another year of potential strikes that didn't happen. The fear of IATSE**and Teamsters striking sent most of the production work out of Los Angeles however, and the corporations that owned the studios just stopped ordering shows and took a loss.
Finally in January of this past year, production had picked up. We went to bed on a Sunday night after the Golden Globes awards and woke up Monday to a warning of high winds possibly overnight. Then it happened. Our city burned. For us, at my place, it was only a couple of miles up the road. Luckily, the winds did not shift from the nearby mountains and blow to the Southwest, but it put a fear in me that I could really lose everything. We had been getting through this financially difficult time, but if ever there was a time I wanted to check out, it was then.
Fear is a powerful thing, but throughout these many years, I've always been taken care of, and that forces me to rely on my "faith" with a higher power that I call Divine Spirit, the Universe. When I tested positive in August 1993, I had no idea where I was going, what I was going to do, and how long I had to live. I had to have faith, so I asked for help, and I was shown a new way to live. Imagine my surprise that I'm still here, alive, some 30+ years later. My HIV status has been a part of my life for so long that I don't even think about it, other than taking daily pills and making quarterly visits to doctors. I find myself now in my 60s, wondering what is next.
I find that the same thought applies to my sobriety. We have a paradox in Alcoholics Anonymous: for it says in our literature that, to stay sober we go about doing the exact same things over and over, expecting a different result. For me, the result of my sobriety is that I stay sober one day at a time, that each day is brand new, fresh, and clean. That helps me to be open to an infinite amount of possibilities if I choose to stay sober that day. I believe sobriety is a choice. Only a childish personality would think, "it's not my fault, they made me do it." No, you did it. Grow up and take some responsibility. The same is true with my HIV status. It's up to me to keep my viral load undetectable. The doctors have given me the tools with daily medication. If I supplement that with vitamins, exercise, and plenty of water, I should be okay. My mental health, well, that's another story. It's been a challenge lately, but I soldier through it and "trudge the road of happy destiny." I'll make sure to wave “hi” when I see you trudging right beside me.
Gerry M.
Sylmar, CA
*Screen Actors Guild-American Federation of Television and Radio Artists
** International Alliance of Theatrical Stage Employees
Moving Toward the Annual Meeting
Candidate submissions are now closed
GaL-AA is moving into the next stage of our Annual Election process. Thank you to everyone who stepped forward in service by submitting their names for consideration.
Our Annual Meeting will be held on Saturday, November 1, 2025, at 12:30 PM ET on Zoom. During this meeting, we want members to take the opportunity to participate by listening to the reports given by each member of the Executive Committee. You should send questions in advance to support@gal-aa.org and if time permits we will answer questions at the end of the meeting. Members will also be voting on the following;
Proposed bylaw changes
Electing new trusted servants for the open positions
Voting will take place live within Zoom using its secure voting features. To ensure your voice is counted, it is essential that you be on our official GaL-AA email list, links will not be shared on social media. Meeting details and voting links will only be shared with subscribers via email.
👉 If you are not yet on the list, please sign up today through our Members Page.
This is your chance to actively participate in shaping the future of GaL-AA. We encourage all members to attend, cast their votes, and be part of this important process.
For more information, please visit our Annual Meeting page.
GaL-AA Election Committee
Convention Member Stories
At GaL-AA, our community’s shared experiences continue to inspire and uplift us. In this issue, we’re honored to feature reflections from three members who have attended AA International Conventions—one in San Antonio in 2010, another in Atlanta in 2015, and the most recent in Vancouver, BC, in 2025. Their stories remind us of the enduring power of connection, service, and the vibrant, ongoing journey of sobriety.
2015 Atlanta International Convention
Sobriety continues to be life-changing. I got sober in Northern California in 1982, worked sixteen years in Tokyo, Japan, then moved to central North Carolina to live in the woods. And yet, I’d never been to an AA International Convention. Time to change that.
“You won’t believe all the people and excitement,” claimed a friend. Okay. But I’d never been someone who enjoyed crowds. I preferred small meetings where I had a chance to share. I liked my recovery calm and insightful.
Nevertheless, I decided to try the International Convention, at least one time. Always be teachable, right? I didn’t know anyone who was going but went anyway and got a room at the same hotel as the GaL-AA hospitality suite. Being on the shy side, I’d be overwhelmed by the crowds, but GaL-AA asked for volunteers as greeters. Way outside my comfort zone, but I needed that commitment to service to start connecting with others.
I was a bit nervous, but right away I smiled and welcomed everyone, especially those by themselves. I knew how that felt. I was grateful for a small way to contribute and the chance to learn and thrive. Later, walking with the huge crowds to the arena (which felt like a giant sports event), I could just smile. I felt connected.
By Tom D.
2010 San Antonio International Convention
My partner and I moved here from San Antonio in December 2023, and we love Las Vegas. (He made a four-year detour to San Antonio, where we met.)
Please share with GaL-AA how happy I was to see the history of gays and lesbians in Alcoholics Anonymous. I was on the organizing committee for the Gay and Lesbian section of the 2010 International AA Convention in San Antonio. We met for an entire year preparing for the event. It was so special and overwhelmingly rewarding. As I look back, service work in AA has kept me sober, along with meetings, having a sponsor, and sponsoring.
I was elected to organize the G&L meetings for the convention. It was unbelievable to have about 8,000 gay men and women gathered inside the largest ballroom at the downtown San Antonio Westin Hotel for the opening meeting for gays and lesbians. When we speak of that period in our sobriety, we are all moved.
I was online this morning preparing for a job interview tomorrow. To be honest, I was feeling nervous, so I scrolled through my email and saw the GaL-AA email and opened it. Reading about AA, our G&L history, and now receiving your email brings me so much comfort and confidence. With a God of my understanding, I know that no matter what happens, I will be okay. (Though it would be good to return to the workforce.)
By Randy E.
AA 01-09-2000
2025 Vancouver International Convention
Attending the 2025 International AA Convention in Vancouver was a full-circle moment for me. It was my first International, and it happened in the very city where I got sober in 2021. Since moving to Windsor, Ontario in 2023, and returning to Vancouver felt like both a homecoming and a celebration. I got involved with GaL-AA and started volunteering, which opened the door to friendships with sober members from all over the world. The GaL-AA Welcome Meeting was a highlight: wall to wall people, powerful shares, and an energy that was off the charts. But the moment that truly stayed with me was standing in BC Place, thousands of us saying the Serenity Prayer in unison. That sound, those words, echoed in my heart. It reminded me that what we’re part of is so much bigger than any one of us, and that this simple program continues to save lives around the globe, one prayer at a time.
Michael M.
Windsor, Ontario, Canada
Thank you to Tom D, Randy E, and Michael M, for sharing these heartfelt memories. Whether it’s your first convention or your tenth, we hope these stories encourage you to step outside your comfort zone and embrace the vibrant fellowship of AA. Together, we grow stronger.
If you have a story you'd like to share in a future newsletter, please reach out to us at SpotlightOnSobriety@gal-aa.org In sobriety and service,
The GaL-AA Newsletter Team
GaL-AA's Spotlight On Sobriety 09/28/2025
The Spotlight On Sobriety features personal stories, articles and reflections submitted by members and friends of the fellowship. The views expressed are those of the individual authors and do not necessarily represent those of Alcoholics Anonymous or GaL-AA.
Your GaL-AA Newsletter Team
